Okay...so I had a thought this morning. My biggest fear in life has been making mistakes. This may not seem much to some, but I have been in this position for most of my life; I just didn't know it. However, this morning it boiled up and I had no choice but to acknowledge it to myself. The story of what has happened in the last 24 hours that allowed this to take place is a long process of putting the dots of pieces of my life together. It ended with telling both daughters that I am sorry for not being the mother I should have been. I, also, thanked my Hunny for constantly holding up a mirror that I did not want to see and denied existed. He has stood there holding it through my storm, even when I threatened to walk out of our marriage. I couldn't have asked for a better man or stronger man. One of my daughters gave me another prospective for seeking counseling, one that I can get my mental arms around. Both of my daughters have been in counseling over the years, but I have resisted. I think I can handle it now. I could go on with this, but my story is still unwinding in wordless thoughts. I hope, at some point, I will be able to give them a voice.
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