Well, it is January 2, 2017 and I have decided that this will be the word of the year..."I/Me".

I have chosen these words because I have been so afraid of being myself that I landed myself in the hospital while visiting my sister and brother on the east coast for Christmas.

That, was by far, the scariest experience I have ever had and, if I can help it, IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

To that end, this blog will become my space of change. Perhaps, if someone happens by they will gain a something to help them.

I am giving myself loving permission to be my artsy, crazy, creative self. There will be no more wearing of "shoes" that hurt my feet and my feelings that "I" have let other people force me to wear.

At age 69, there is much to me, a lot to me and I am going to let me be the "much" and "a lot." The road may get bumpy, but I am not falling. It is my aim not to leave this world without experiencing being simply, perfectly, and wholly happy 💓

                                                                       

I have been married for almost 8 years and as I approach my 8th anniversary, I find myself in the same negative situation that I left in 2002.

Lost

Under your demeanor

Hides troubling devils,

All waiting to spit their venom

At any target you choose.

You hide behind them,

You let them lie to you

About your generosity and goodness,

In reality you have little of either.

Oh, such an unhappy man you are,

Never understanding what love is…

What kindness is…

What compassion is…

Your ever boiling anger

Is nestled in every fiber of self

Pushing its way to the surface

Assuring you of your superiority.

Abandoned by mother,

Abandoned by father,

Abandoned by grandfather,

Abandoned by grandmother,

Loss wife one,

Loss wife two,

Loss wife three,

Loss wife four,

Soon to loose wife five

When will you see

The ownership of the sham

You play out on yourself every day.  - MamaRose 7/10/2015

The Ecumenical Christian

Have you taken a few moments to give thanks to your Higher Power today?

I thank God:
- for sleeping well
- for a sunshiny day
- for my creative muse
- for knowing the value and beauty of being able to "touch"
- for not abandoning me

I have come to the conclusion that members of varying Baptist churches and, perhaps some other non-Catholic churches are very good at public praying. It seems that many of them, on the spur of the moment, can belt out beautiful prayers, a sweetness to the ears of all who are present.

I am a Catholic; I was born and raised in the Church from the time that the Mass was still said in Latin. The faithful came in quietly and left the same way. The only person who spoke was the priest. There were no outbursts of prayer and thanksgiving during the service, no music that made you want to clap or dance in holy joy or run around the church because you could not be still. Since I have gone to a number of Baptist and COGIC services, I have seen congregations participating in their church services in many ways, some of which I have stated already. I was not very comfortable with some of it and somewhat confused by it. Now I am okay with it and I understand a need to move because the Holy Spirit is so strong within your soul.

The one thing I have not mastered very well, though is praying aloud before others. It un-nerves me to do so. I am getting better, but I have spent so many moments in quiet prayer until voicing it for others makes me nervous and I become uncomfortably self -ware of what I am doing, ergo, I run through the prayer or stumble on the words. What is so strange is that as a storyteller, I have stood in front of as many 500 people to tell my stories, but when praying a loud I stumble. I am determined to get better at doing this. I have a couple of moments when I have not been so self-conscious and I hope to have many more.

I hope all of you have a terrific day!

“I've always thought that a big laugh is a really loud noise from the soul saying, 'Ain't that the truth.'”
~Quincy Jones (born 1933);
Record Producer, Musician, Conductor

Namaste...

 

Gratitude

Have you taken a moment to give thanks to your Higher Power:

I thank God:
- for a working furnace
- for patience
- for being able to pray
- for my skull
- for not abandoning me

Those of you who are enduring the cold weather as we are, please keep yourselves safe. Make sure you don't leave your pets out too long. Make sure you spend as little outdoors as possible. I am airing out our home, so I have two windows open one in the front and one in the back and the air coming in is no joke! I cannot get any other windows to budge because they are iced. Is there a blessing in all of this somewhere? You bet there is. Do I know where they are? For me, I know of a few, but I have said them before in previous post about this weather. I will give one more. Some kind neighbor across the ally has twice used his snow remover to clear out snow from neighboring car garage openings. He has also done the front walks of some people as well. Twice the city plows push snow back on all his work and twice he went out to remove it. He didn't have to do that, but he did and that is a blessing. Considering that there doesn't appear to be a change in temperature, one of our school systems has announced schools being closed again tomorrow.

I hope everyone enjoys this weather as much as they can. It has come to us for a reason. Nothing in the universe is done for naught. It all happens for a purpose. Continue to send out as many positive vibrations as you can, the entire universe is in need of them. While I don't like looking at the news, from to time, I do. It is in those moments that I am reminded about the clash between what is right in the universe and what is wrong. I will do my best to be a positive force and not a negative one. I hope you try to do the same.

"Success comes in cans, failure in cant's." -Brahma Kumaris

Namaste....

Gratitude

Have you taken a moment to thank your Higher Power today?

I thank God:
- for the beauty of this day
- for the smiles and laughter that I heard
- for safety as we went to and fro today
- for the beautiful music of John Legend
- for my hip bones
- for not abandoning me

I hope your day went well. We managed to get to church, slipping and sliding all the way. After church we slipped and slid to one of our favorite restaurants for brunch. Finally, we slipped and slid all the way home. We were safe in God's care - slipping and sliding all the way. It is messy outside, but it is so beautiful. Even the wind blown snow that smacked my face reminded me of how miraculously wonderful my God is. It is a blessing to feel the beauty of one of his creations. I am blessed to see the beauty beyond the mess. I was blessed by the smiles and laughter of those who made it to church along with my Hunny and me. I was blessed to be able to have Sunday brunch with my Hunny. I am blessed, blessed, blessed..... :-)

"Our work-a-day lives are filled with opportunities to bless others. The power of a single glance or an encouraging smile must never be underestimated." G. Richard Rieger

Namaste....

Gratefulness

I thank God:
- that my Hunny took a sleep test
- for scientific discoveries that will help him sleep better
- for being blessed with being part of a solemn sorority rite
- for my rib cage
- for not abandoning me

Well, I hope we can get to church tomorrow. It is pretty out there, but it will be a mess in which to drive.

I hope all of you are having a wonderful weekend! I, also, hope your new year has gotten off to a good start. When you say "Have a good day." to strangers, you can get all kinds of different reactions. I have been doing this for a long time and I like the smiles I get along with well wishes.  My whole point in saying something nice to them is too make them feel good and hopefully catch a smile and you know what? Doing what I do makes me feel good, too. Some people don't speak, but that is okay with me. They may say something nice to someone else because I said something nice to them. Blessings are sneaky, they can get inside grouchy people, too..

"It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get." ~ Confucius

Just Annell

Have you given thanks to your Higher Power for today's blessings?

I thank God:
- for the precious words my Hunny said to me yesterday
- for the precious, much needed winter moisture
- for a peaceful day
- for having some warmth in which to live
- for my sternum
- for not abandoning me

I hope this weekend, the first of the new year, is joyous, happy and shows you the open door of new beginnings.

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Namaste.....